We do everything together. We look alike, we talk alike, we act alike, we group think. We gossip about other birds. We like hanging around trashcans. We do flocking.

- the pigeons

I am introspective. I am emotionally rich. I am a colorful personality. I am a balance of brightness and intelligence. I love solo travel adventures.

- the flamingo

The postcard arrived on time.

Aºtlas of the Soul explores what it means to be true to soul with full dedication and authenticity. This is the present journey.

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soul light

My parameters have changed and I am finding my wings. I can say I am somewhere between The Blue Lagoon and On Golden Pond. If truth be told, I am up in the sky— in a wild swan ballet.

“To explore Kokoro is to explore the very essence of what it means to be human in this tough yet devastatingly beautiful world. When you learn to live guided by the light in your Kokoro, everything changes, and anything is possible.” (from back cover, Kokoro by Beth Kempton)

A pause before entering the studio, a moment to drink in my surroundings for this day’s gratitude list. Right before me stands a the hill of tall pines with the morning blue sky above. And I remember: ‘I carry the forest with me.’ Suddenly, a burst of birdsong call and what my grandchildren say sound like “Cheese-burger! Cheese-burger!” And I laugh in delight. This is my day-start. It is SoulCircle writing prompt day.

Welcome to Wings.

sonder road

I stopped speaking. The realization that I was once again placing myself in the limelight of the conversation washed over me. What I truly desire is to hear what my daughter has to say. Her life is remarkable. She is the mother of six children. She is beautiful inside and out. Her personality shines like the sun. She is extremely intelligent. She cares about everyone in her friendship circles.

Flamingo be still! Listen.

Our lives are now divided. We do not share a family home. I am finding my way as a working artist/writer and she is filling her role as a mother and homemaker.

Sonder: ‘The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own’ from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig.

soul work

A complex and vivid reality. For many years I have delayed the ‘empty nest’ syndrome. The empty nest syndrome is the emotional distress one may feel when children leave home, often involving grief, loneliness, and a sense of lost purpose. As a single parent and woman, I face aloneness for the first time in my life, at age 64.

How many people move in with a complete stranger? I do.

Room for rent: right price.

Great location: within walking distance to my studio.

Situation: a place for my belongings, the Siamese elder queen, a (micro) baby grand piano, a crazy male robin fighting his reflection in the large clean windows, hopefully mating season will end before he does.

Amenities: the walls of palest blue with white fascia board trim, wooden laminate flooring, throw rugs modestly placed, shared facilities, ultra clean home, large (clean) windows, backyard a slope of wild trees and overgrowth, front yard overlooking one of Saint Marie’s wood mills.

Requirements: downsize personal belongings to monk status

Housemate: questionable.

Addendum: Brene Brown journal work setting healthy boundaries.

soul strength

Choose practices that nurture your spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being. Meditation, setting boundaries, and self-care rituals uplift and calm and are pure goodness. Walking outdoors, observing nature, watching passer-bys, quiet thoughts, mindful of body and spirit, cleansing pent-up nervousness, releasing grief, setting new goals, open to new community, forging new friendships, reacquainting with passion.

How did I know to write this? Now, I need to live it.

Your soul represents your potential.
Your soul is rare— one of a kind.
Your soul is precious to God.

the present journey

"Aging is a privilege." - Lindsey Stirling.

Vivid and complex. I have another sobriety birthday in the rearview mirror. This one took the cake. Still standing, but I now have a new term for upcoming anniversaries: “Expect the Crucible.”

I found a new ponderance: Staying in the Love of God. My soul began listening and I encouraged its surrender. Things got better. I felt better. Day by day— a little stronger, a little braver, a little less angry, a little more genuine.

I am not alone in this universe. Friends and family members with vivid and complex lives reached out to share in celebration of my milestone via social media and text messages. Making the time to celebrate miracles. Finding out I can celebrate their miracles on the red road too.

Becoming Real is the destination.

I accept the mirror as a reflection not an identity. Abiding is an address not an aspiration— a lovely saying by of Ordinary Faithfulness.

To Be List

To Be trying New Things.

To Be reintroducing Play.

To Be noticing the “Ordinary”.

To Be practicing Self-Compassion.

To Be embracing the inner child and the woman I am.

To Be prioritizing “Awe”.

To Be ‘published author.’

{ Balancing of life in the present journey. }

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Well, she’s really rotten at being a pigeon.

- the pigeons

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Thank goodness!

- the flamingo

The postcard arrived on time. It is a radical act of the soul to Do Something Really Beautiful— by braving and re-balancing one’s life. This is the present journey.

kaleidoscope of the soul

My parameters have changed and I am finding my wings. I can say I am somewhere between The Blue Lagoon and On Golden Pond. If truth be told, I am up in the sky— in a wild swan ballet.

There is a formula to braving and doing radical acts. One must first foster a belief in self by practicing worthiness, model a warrior spirit in opposition to all negativity, including the best behaved pigeons.

Change my thoughts and my wings will follow.

one’s original face

Draw a self-portrait of yourself as a child. Now, sketch a self-portrait of yourself right now. What changed?

My first life-size portrait of my face showed me looking into the sky with wistfulness. I chose to do the art piece in ink stippling — thousands and thousands of ink dots create the image. My nose looked too wide so it became a fairy tern in full wingspread coming out from my face— a surreal image but an amazing achievement in an art style that worked. The title of the piece— “Flight.”

What speaks through art is what is behind the appearance of the image. It is what evokes emotion, resonance, recognition, and a reaction. Art is soul work.

soul work

It is essential to protect your soul by choosing practices that nurture your spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being. Meditation, setting boundaries, and self-care rituals that uplift or calm are of pure goodness. But there is a deeper importance.

“Don’t lose your soul.”

"For what profit is it to one if they gain the whole world, and lose their own soul? Or what will one give in exchange for one’s soul?"
— Matthew 16:26

When God made soul, spirit, and body, He said something about you that He said about nothing else: You are made in God’s image. You are His workmanship. In other words: “We are His imagers,” as Sharon Gilbert (author) from the Gilbert House puts it, see Substack

The soul is living and has a destiny— either to eternal life or to judgement. Some believe and some do not. It doesn’t change the fact.

“One human soul is worth more than everything in this world put together.”
— Mark 8:35-38

Does my soul belong to me or to whom I give it? No one owns their own soul. The soul can be given away. The soul can be lost.

The soul belongs to the Creator. In Ezekiel 18:4: God says, "Behold, all souls are mine." Simply stated: The Soul— Created by God— Redeemed by Jesus. As a human being created as a living soul, we are given free will and must make the choice to follow the Creator or turn away from the Creator. An individual choice.

Your soul represents your potential.
Your soul is rare— one of a kind.
Your soul is precious to God.

The loss of the soul is irreplaceable.
The loss of the soul is irreversible.
The loss of your soul is inexcusable.

The loss of your soul is tragic. I never realized the importance of the soul. This is why I am writing essays. I write what I need to hear.

‘broken bits’ of life in the present journey

"Aging is a privilege." - Lindsey Stirling.

I read this week that God breaks us so He can bless us. As wayward children going their own way by not heeding the Father’s guidance— equals no blessings from the Father. He cannot reward rebellion. It is not in His nature.

This took me quite a while to realize that ‘surrender to win’ actually is just that. In surrendering my will and choosing the Father’s will for me [act of faith] the outcome is better than I could have planned or could ever imagine. And, once the agony of the night of the soul is over— the pain of facing one’s wrongs by repenting and asking forgiveness— the way forward is a new life and a new dawn.

This week has been one of crisis and cringing. My upcoming sobriety birthday mid-month always brings with it the squirrel cage and life obstacles that seem absolutely insurmountable. And they are without the hand of God active in my life. So I let go. I asked the Lord to fight my battles for me. I am to stand. Stand. Keep standing. And when all is said and done, remain standing. The Lord is gracious and all-powerful and defeats all the dread foes.

How often have we thought there must be something out there trying to destroy us, taking our peace, stealing our joy, and killing our soul? Having a spiritual life means being in spiritual warfare. What did I expect?

Reliance upon the Father is the only way forward. And that requires me getting real.

Realness is the key to unlock the door ahead.

My authentic Self is coming back into existence when I get right size. There is a God and it’s not me. Meekness. How did I come to think I was qualified to run my own life/show? Oh, that’s right— society preaches self-reliance, self-motivation, self-importance, self- achievement, self-will, self-purpose, self-ish-ness. I am unhooking my caboose from that train wreck.

Getting real has its moments. I had my first belly laugh in a long time this week, spontaneous and delightful. I accept the mirror as a reflection not an identity.

I want to become unmolded (the shape that life molds) — to return to my original form I was created to be. So, instead of a To Do list— I have started a To Be List.

Becoming Real is the destination.

Trying New Things.

Reintroducing Play.

Noticing the “Ordinary”.

Practicing Self-Compassion.

Acknowledging the inner child’s presence as the who God created me to be.

Prioritizing “Awe”.

IN PRACTICE FOLLOW-UP: currently planning my next adventure.

{ Balancing of life in the present journey. }

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Just who does she think she is— a flamingo?

- the pigeons

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I hear— “Be Beautiful. So I am.”

- the flamingo

The postcard arrived on time. Doing Something Really Beautiful is a radical act of self-balance and an expression of one’s soul. It’s a balancing of life in the present journey.

balancing life and shaping

My parameters have changed and I am finding my footing. I can say I am somewhere between The Blue Lagoon and On Golden Pond. If truth be told, I am up in the sky— in flight— in a wild swan ballet.

I want to learn more about what it means to live from the heart & soul. I know the feeling as a musician and performer— when every part of you is invested in producing magnificent moments before an audience. Such heart and soul then, but what about the quiet times— the alone times when an artist creates, practices, or just pauses? What does the soul do then? Why does it become distant and silent when one’s passions are not fueling its jets?

When I was a young artist of 16, I was captivated by the colorful flamingoes at The Wild Animal Park in San Pasqual Valley, California. A photograph taken that evening at the park became a Prisma color pencil painting I created of the flamingo standing in dark waters— its reflection a shimmer of glorious colors across the pond surface.

This I call soul work— a created piece of artwork that I held dear to my heart for years— residing in my portfolio case, but had no monetary value or purpose other than the glory of creating the art image and documenting the richness of color. The layers of Prisma colors seem to float above the paper— almost bringing the flamingo to life in the inky waters.

And then the self-portrait. A life-size portrait of my face looking into the sky done in ink stippling — thousands of dots creating the image. The nose looked off so it became a fairy tern in full wingspread over half my face— surreal but an achievement in art style that worked well. The title of the piece— “Freedom.” Soul work.

Depth

The depth of the soul encompasses emotional richness, spiritual connections, and the essence of human existence, inviting us to explore our inner selves and the universe around us. In this flattened technological world of social media scrolling and smartphones— the journey of the soul can be hijacked without a care. I think we are in peril of losing our humanity— the essence of all that makes us unique and having a living soul.

Have you ever heard the warning words: “Don’t lose your soul! ”? It is important to consider. It is essential to protect your soul— choose practices that nurture your spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being, such as meditation, setting boundaries, and self-care rituals.

“A beautiful soul is never forgotten.” — Unknown

The depth of the soul refers to the profound aspects of human existence, encompassing identity, purpose, and the essence of being.

heart be quiet & let the depth of my soul rise

This is a writing on discovering the depth of one’s soul. A rebirth. Finding one’s true face— unveiled and unadorned. A return to Realness.

“Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.” Psalm 42:7

If one could draw a picture of the things held within one’s heart— what would be there? Desires, things loved, memories. If one could draw a picture of one’s soul— what would that look like? The mind, the will, and the emotions— serving as the center of consciousness, personality, and moral awareness.

‘What is your original face?’ — a Zen koan

If you have not heard, the inner child is bright, curious, full of wonder, and trusting— often described in psychology as the “authentic self” or “true self”. It is the part of you that experiences joy without needing a reason, sees beauty, and finds magic in the ordinary. The days that miracles of serendipity happen over and over— in little things falling into place that could never have been orchestrated by even careful planning.

I want to become unmolded— to return to my original form I was created to be. This requires courage. I have found it costs one’s materialism, vanity, shallowness (being plastic), settling for counterfeit comforts, resting on one’s laurels (past achievements / glory days), soul-sucking careers, and hiding in crowds of do-nothings going-nowhere.

Becoming Real is the destination.

the present journey

"Aging is a privilege." - Lindsey Stirling.

In the Americana culture that worships youth and athleticism, ‘turning silver and going wrinkled’ was never on my resume for success. I bought in to Barbie and Malibu.

Soul work is the process of connecting with your deepest self to heal, grow, and align with your true purpose. Probably the hardest journey one can embark upon.

Real is the key to where I go from here.

I miss my authentic Self. In exiting the plastic-mold career and further-in-debt lifestyle, I find in order to become real I need the vibrant part of me back. Real is the key to where I go from here. Research says the journey back involves "inner child work"—a process of acknowledging, understanding, and healing the wounds of that younger self. I have faced my losses, fears, and traumas. I have made my decision that they do not have the final say in my story. I continue to press on.

Trying New Things.

Reintroducing Play.

Noticing the “Ordinary”.

Practicing Self-Compassion.

Acknowledging the inner child’s presence.

Prioritizing “Awe”.

Permitting “Purposelessness”.

IN PRACTICE FOLLOW-UP. I attended ‘The World Ballet — Cinderella’ with my granddaughter. I am delighted that she sat on the edge of her chair to the first Intermission. The smile of delight on her face melted my heart. It was a perfect time to practice all the above.

{ Balancing of life in the present journey. }

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